Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
