the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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