I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
