Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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