I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
