I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
