Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
