Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
