They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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