I want to make a zoo with you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
