i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
