like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
