Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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