Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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