o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
