She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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