Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
