If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
