the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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