I wish my penis had an off switch
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
