I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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