So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
