I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
