and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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