Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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