I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I am naked and annoyed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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