I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
