My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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