As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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