We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
