Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
