Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
