Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
