I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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