You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
