What a fucking waste of an outfit
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
