I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
is it fun? or sober?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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