my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
