she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
