P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
