he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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