You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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