drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
