There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
