Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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