I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
