wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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