I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
