i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
