Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
