We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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